WRITING SKILLS FOR DSE WRITING (2)

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Spencer Lam
英文補習名師,港大一級榮譽,多年英文補習經驗,歷年來曾教授超過1000名學生,學生遍及各大名校,由初中至成人英語皆可因材施教,獲《TVB 星期日檔案》、《Now TV》、《ViuTV》、《晴報》、《明珠台》、《UMagazine》等專訪
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English HKDSE 2012 Q2

ENGLISH LANGUAGE INSTRUCTION VIA SPORTS COMMUNICATION 
You have been following an online discussion in Health and Fitness eMag on the advantages of playing video games like Wii sports over actual sports. Post your thoughts on the subject in the online discussion board

The first sentence 

Virtual sports, to start
Virtual sports consoles have undoubtedly revolutionised how people play sports by requiring players to simulate swinging a tennis racquet or tossing a bowling ball using a motion-sensitive controller.
2. 介紹論題
The question of whether virtual sports can take the place of traditional sports has long been a topic of intense discussion.
3. 明確表明立場
Regarding this, I feel that playing virtual sports has less value than playing actual sports, and virtual sports cannot, in any way, take the place of genuine sports.

Paragraph 2 

1. 標題句
First of all, playing sports online cannot realistically be compared to doing sports outside.
2. 詳細解釋論點
Tennis is an invaluable sport, in my opinion as a fan. For instance, utilising a motion-sensitive controller takes less physical strength than striking a ball with an actual racket. It is also important to note that the skills acquired through virtual sports are neither identical to nor equivalent to the team or individual talents acquired through participating in actual sporting events. For instance, using real-world golf or tennis methods and motions is significantly more difficult than merely waving the Wii Remote around the living room.

Paragraph 3

1. 標題句
The core of competitive sports appears to have been defeated most significantly by the existence of virtual sports.
2. 詳細解釋論點
There is no doubting that maintaining one’s physical fitness and overall health is the primary motivation for participating in sports. It should be noted that this is not the only goal. Real-world sports participation also has the important goal of promoting personal development, which is difficult to do in virtual sports. For instance, playing team sports can teach us how to work well with others. Real sports enable us to expand our social networks and meet new people, which is equally important to note. For instance, by taking part in interschool basketball or soccer games, we can make friends with kids from other schools.
3. 總結句
All these advantages, it seems, can only be obtained by playing actual sports.

Paragraph 4

1. 相反觀點
Some detractors claim that playing virtual sports helps us burn fat and lose weight.
2. 讓步
Virtual sports undeniably promote greater physical activity than conventional sedentary video games and can serve as a stepping stone for people to enjoy the fun of sports in a non-threatening setting.
3. 反駁句
However, we should be aware that virtual sports are much less efficient than actual sports at calorie burning and maintaining fitness.
4. 詳細解釋論點
While some calories can be burned off while playing virtual games, the amount is insignificant compared to the calories burned during physical activity. In actuality, there is much less movement required in virtual games than there is in real sports. A case in point is tennis. A competitive tennis match is physically taxing and draining, in contrast to playing “tennis” on the Wii, which may be done without any strain. A professional tennis match frequently lasts longer than three hours, it seems. Tennis players frequently sprint up and down the court and left and right as they try to win a match. It is also important to keep in mind that genuine sports take place in far more difficult environments that challenge the athletes’ endurance and stamina. A variety of real sports, such as football and mountaineering, are played in sweltering outdoor venues, in contrast to the air-conditioned setting of playing virtual sports, where you may occasionally take a break by munching on your preferred delicacies. Toil and sweat are a given for participants who are driven to do well.
5. 總結句
Evidently, a virtual sports game console workout is not challenging enough. We can only stay in shape by participating in genuine sports.

paragraph 5

1. 總結內文
The benefits to one’s health and relationships from virtual sports are in no way comparable to those of real sports, even though they may be an upgrade over typical sedentary video games by allowing for more body mobility in games.
2. 期望
It would seem improbable for virtual sports to replace actual sports in the near future given how clearly superior genuine sports are to their virtual counterparts.

English HKDSE 2012 Q6

USING POPULAR CULTURE TO TEACH ENGLISH
Because everyone wants to appear good, cosmetic surgery has grown to be a multibillion dollar industry. Write an editorial about the obsession with physical attractiveness for the Hong Kong Express.

上款 Greetings,

Sir/Madam


1st paragraph

1. 寫信目的
I’m writing to alert the public to the gravity of such a phenomenon as a consistent reader of your column who pays attention to the pervasive trend in cosmetic surgery.
2. 背景介紹
In a wealthy city like Hong Kong, many people mistake physical attractiveness and appearance for real beauty, leading them to pursue cosmetic surgery in their quest for the ideal body. Many people have been affected by the fascination with such surgery in a way that, if treated, will soon be irreparable.

second paragraph

1. 標題句
It is undeniably biassed and unfair to see cosmetic surgery as nothing more than a pestilence.
2. 詳細解釋
Cosmetic surgery can be a practical way to restore one’s look and life to normality in some circumstances, such as air crash accidents where one’s face has been horribly damaged. A victim of the Lganga petrol fire, for instance, felt cosmetic surgery was a blessing that prevented him from suffering from face damage and emotional trauma.

 

paragraph 3

sentence 1:
While the aforementioned clearly qualifies as a justification for cosmetic surgery, it is important to note that there are significant health risks involved.
2. 詳細解釋
It’s true that technology is developing at a spectacular and unheard-of rate. However, these hazards still exist and are waiting for the next patient. There have been incidents involving cosmetic surgery this decade. After receiving a Botox injection, some patients experience cheek deterioration, while others experience sight impairment as a result of eyelid surgery. Some unfortunate allergy sufferers may even wind up paying the ultimate price—death.
3. 總結句
Sugar-coated cosmetic surgery can be a ticket to unhappiness and regret for the rest of your life, similar to a minefield.

paragraph 4

1. 標題句
Additionally, cosmetic surgery has warped our society’s moral standards.
2. 詳細解釋
The misguided search to eliminate every imperfection is pervasive in a culture where physical attractiveness is the standard of beauty. While walking down the street, you will see numerous billboards featuring alluring girls with oval faces and flawless skin. With such a high standard, it is not surprising that even a strawberry seed-sized bump is regarded as being as shameful as a dreadnought. Many people will then start their journey towards cosmetic surgery and physical attractiveness in their blind search of perfection. They are often too preoccupied with outward attractiveness due to their obsession with outward beauty. Beauty comes from beneath the skin, as Ellen DeGeneres famously stated.
3. 總結句
Sadly, this lesson is beginning to fade away as a result of the cosmetic plague that is currently sweeping the nation.


paragraph 5

1. 承上
It can seem meaningless to merely demand an end to such a tendency.
2. 啟下
The government may, however, take a number of practical steps to slay this seductive cosmetic surgery beast.

paragraph 6

1. 標題句
The first step in regulating cosmetic surgery should be by passing legislation and boosting up law enforcement.
2. 詳細解釋 (具體方法 + 好處)
The government should limit cosmetic surgery marketing in the short term. On a more extreme level, the government might outlaw all kinds of special deals or discounts as well as catchphrases like “Super Smooth Summer Surgery” or “New Year, New Face.” Additionally, it is crucial for the government to mandate that surgical businesses include a conspicuous deterrent like “Cosmetic surgery may lead to permanent disfiguration and death” in their advertisements, similar to how cigarettes are handled.
3. 總結句
Such a fixation with plastic surgery can be lessened by limiting public exposure to it.

Paragraph 7

1. 標題句
Education is a different type of preventive measure.
2. One could argue that it is important to instill in children’s susceptible minds the importance of inner beauty. Children will quickly realise they are attractive for who they are, not how they seem, if more lectures are held, movie sessions are organised in schools, commercials are displayed, and public campaigns are organised to discourage cosmetic surgery and emphasise inner beauty.
3. 總結句
Teenagers will reject plastic surgery by understanding the superiority of morality and inner beauty as a result of strict government regulations and ongoing public education.

paragraph 8

1. 總結內文
Our society suffers from the overpowering fixation with cosmetic surgery. To ward off such a beast, people from all walks of life should keep their heads clear and critical.
2. 期望
Hopefully, the government’s efforts will help us win this protracted war and break our dependence on physical attractiveness and plastic surgery.


下款

faithfully yours,
C. S. Wong
C. S. Wong

2012 Q8 of the HKDSE in English

THROUGH WORKPLACE COMMUNICATION, I’M LEARNING ENGLISH
You work for Hong Kong Correctional Services as an intern. The government has started a programme called “Second Chance” to persuade businesses to hire drug users or ex-offenders. Send a letter to every business in Hong Kong announcing the new initiative, outlining the advantages, and encouraging them to sign up for the programme.

上款 Greetings,

Sir/Madam


1st paragraph

1. 寫信目的
On behalf of Hong Kong Correctional Services, I’m writing to introduce you to our newest scheme, “Second Chances.”
2. 介紹計劃目標
Our programme seeks to reintegrate drug users or former criminals into society by finding them employment with various companies.
3. 鼓勵參加
The adage “nobody is perfect” is true. At some point, everyone commits mistakes. Criminals are not the only ones who can find healing; people from many walks of life, including employers, can also. Given this, hiring them and providing for their future would be a great and kind deed.


second paragraph

1. 更生人士的困境
Hong Kong Correctional Services has maintained touch with numerous ex-offenders over the previous few years in order to stay abreast of their most recent circumstances. However, it appears that finding a work still remains a difficult and thankless endeavour for them. Many unemployed people are said to be on the verge of becoming social outcasts, which is harmful to their mental health in our opinion.
2. 強調計劃有助更生人士脫離困境
By initiating this campaign, we are therefore doing everything in our power to assist the rehabilitants in escaping the hardship of unemployment.



paragraph 3

1. 承上啟下
Participating in the aforementioned programme will not only revolutionise your life, but it will also help you in a variety of other ways.


paragraph 4

1. 標題句
Employing rehabilitated people will help establish your company’s reputation as a respectable business to start with.
2. 詳細解釋
Your business can establish a positive reputation in the community by becoming actively involved in topics like the settling of ex-offenders. Customers will thereafter understand that your business not only seeks to maximise profit but also to improve society.
3. 總結句
Such a plan will eventually lead to an unparalleled reputation and a more successful firm.


paragraph 5

1. 標題句
The improvement in company productivity and efficiency is another certain benefit.
2. 詳細解釋
Due to their disgraceful pasts, ex-criminals and drug addicts in Hong Kong are frequently mistaken for being lazy and work-averse. However, studies show that they have a greater motivation to overcome their regrets by working hard and being more responsible because they have gone through a lot of mental anguish and challenges on the road to recovery. Therefore, many ex-offenders have a tendency to be more sedulous than other workers to demonstrate that they are not social parasites.
3. 總結句
Apparently, your organisation can improve business performance by hiring ex-offenders and giving them opportunity.


In paragraph 6 

1. 標題句
Last but not least, ex-offenders can offer a skilled and knowledgeable workforce that is equal to other workers.
2. 詳細解釋
Many criminals who are imprisoned voluntarily participate in a variety of training programmes to learn new skills. For instance, numerous offenders have taken cooking classes, sewing workshops, or even accounting courses. After taking these courses, the majority of them are well-versed in many aspects of the profession, making them incredibly adaptable and capable. Additionally, the Employees Retraining Board or other organisations provide financial aid to ex-offenders so they can enrol in vocational training programmes to improve their skills.
3. 總結句
It is not surprising that ex-offenders are skilled workers because of their tenacious pursuit of education and training.


7th paragraph

1. 總結內文
Even former criminals and drug users deserve second opportunities. It is crucial that we provide a kind helping hand to those in need in order to ensure and strengthen social peace.
2. 期望對方參加計劃
Therefore, it would be greatly appreciated if you could participate in our plan. By working as a team, we can improve the world.


下款

faithfully yours,
C. S. Wong
C. S. Wong

English 2012 Q9 of the HKDSE

STUDYING SOCIAL ISSUES WHILE LEARNING ENGLISH
There will be a special section on mental health in your school magazine. One of your friends recently struggled with depression. Write a piece about your friend’s despair and how they were able to overcome it for the school magazine. Share your knowledge about how to combat depression with others.

Depression: It Is Not the End of the World

The first sentence

1. 問題背景
These days, a lot of people experience mental health issues as a result of their demanding jobs and fast-paced lifestyles. In a city with a high pace of life like Hong Kong, depression is among the most prevalent mental diseases. It’s definitely not easy to recuperate. But there are always solutions to lessen or resolve the issue.
2. 簡介全文重點
In this essay, I’ll tell you about one of my friends’ struggle with depression and offer you some advice on how to get well.

 

In paragraph 2

1. 標題句
One of my pals passed away from despair six months ago. He stopped being enthusiastic and motivated about anything.
2. 面對的困難
Every day he dozed off in class in the hopes of avoiding the upcoming public exam. He was unable to envision anything but a bleak future and had even considered killing himself. He was initially hesitant to seek out medical advice from professionals.
3. 如何解決困難
Nevertheless, he made a lot of effort, followed his doctor’s advise, and eventually healed with the help of his family and friends.

 

The third paragraph

1. 承接上文
My friend’s experience demonstrates that depression is treatable.
2. 開啟下文
The advise I’m about to give you is helpful.

In paragraph 4

 

1. 標題句
First and foremost, it is crucial for us to increase our exercise regimen while we are suffering from depression.
2. 個人經歷 + 具體建議
Sadly, people who are depressed frequently stare at themselves in a dark, stuffy space. Staying in a small space simply makes their condition worse. As a result, his doctor advised my friend to regularly engage in physical activity.
3. 建議好處
Sports not only helped him build his physical strength, but they also improved his mental health and gave him more self-confidence. According to several research findings, when we do sports, our brain releases chemicals that uplift us and provide us energy. As a result, doing sports considerably reduces the patient’s stress.



In paragraph 5

Obtaining the support of family or friends is also crucial.
1. 個人經歷 + 具體建議
I frequently checked in with my pal at that time to see how he was doing. It is crucial that you go with your pals in such a situation so they may express their frustration and complain. To avoid damaging their self-esteem, we should keep in mind that we should not treat them like patients but rather more like friends.
2. 建議好處
They will have a conduit to express their emotions if they interact and hang out frequently with depression sufferers. They will be more driven and tenacious in conquering their situation if they sense our concern.

 

paragraph 6

In conclusion, regular exercise and support from loved ones and friends can help depression sufferers find relief from their sorrow.
2. 表達期望
However, we must acknowledge that the victim’s strength of will is the most crucial treatment for depression. It is time for you to free yourself if you are submerged in depression. Many parties are willing to support you and lend a hand. Just keep in mind that depression is not your fault. Hold our hands and quit condemning yourself. You will defeat the demon with unwavering resolve and perseverance and rediscover the beauty of life.

如果大家有什麼英文問題,如Spencer Lam, 好唔好咁樣學英文呀? 或者IELTS考試,成人英文/商業英文的知識及英文資源,歡迎你可以隨時再跟我多交流一下,可以Follow 「Spencer Lam English Team」 Facebook pageIG得到更多英文資訊,亦都可以上 https://spencerlam.hk/ 了解更多!

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