IELTS Writing Task 1 band 9 Model essay 大雲集

Spencer Lam
Spencer Lam
英文補習名師,港大一級榮譽,多年英文補習經驗,歷年來曾教授超過1000名學生,學生遍及各大名校,由初中至成人英語皆可因材施教,獲《TVB》、《Now TV》、《經濟一週》、《晴報》、《親子王》、《經濟日報》等專訪
目錄

Model 1

Writing Task

You should spend about 20 minutes on this Task.

The first graph depicts the weight (in tonnes) of fruit produced by a farm each month in 2013, as well as the amount (in tonnes) of fertiliser used. The second graph depicts the amount of rain that fell each month (in millimetres.)

Write a report summarising the information. Select and describe the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Essay

The graphs show the monthly tonnage of fruit produced on a farm in 2013, as well as the fertilizer used and the monthly rainfall for that year.
Fruit output increased consistently from slightly over 2 tonnes in January to a peak of almost 4.2 tonnes in August, as shown. The output dropped sharply after that, settling around the original 2 tonne threshold in December. When it comes to fertiliser usage, however, the seasonal trend is virtually reversed: the most fertiliser was used in April (just under 1 tonne), followed by a sharp fall to nil in June and July. Fertilizer usage grew somewhat in the autumn, peaking at roughly 0.7 tonnes before dropping to just under 0.5 tonnes by the end of the year.
With an early high of 16mm in February and steady drops to 4mm in July, August, and September, this looks to indicate the application of fertiliser. Rainfall climbed continuously after that, peaking at 14mm in December.
In summary, this farm used the most fertiliser during periods of high rainfall, and it produced the greatest fruit when both rainfall and fertiliser consumption were at their lowest levels.
(189 words)

Examiner’s Comments

In IELTS, this essay would obtain a Band 9 rating. The applicant offers a quick summary of the Task introduction before going over each chart one by one. He properly recognizes the trend in chart 1 (fruit grows as fertiliser reduces) and describes it with a modest number of figures, indicating that he perceives the trend (“this seasonal pattern is mostly reversed…”). By utilizing the past simple to express the changes, he makes it apparent that he realizes this is a’movement’ type Task; but, he does not just ‘list’ the series of figures in order.
He recognizes the second pattern (fertilizer use is related to rainfall levels) and uses crucial numbers to show it. The conclusion reaffirms the relationship between the three aspects (fruit, fertiliser and rainfall.) He makes no attempt to explain or justify the tendencies, which is true.
The graphs are arranged in the same order as the charts. There is no passion or personal tone in the wording employed. It is plain and impartial. Because the year is shown, the simple past is appropriate (2013.) He makes it obvious which charts he’s talking about (“We can see… looking at… about”) and describes motions with a wide range of terminology (decline/rise/dip/fall, for example). To illustrate that he understands the rate of change, he uses words like marked/slightly/steadily/rapidly. To emphasize the pattern comparison, he utilizes terms like reversed and by contrast.
The impression is of a candidate who has studied trends and picked crucial statistics to demonstrate that he understands them without going into too much detail.

Model 2

Writing Task

You should spend about 20 minutes on this Task.

The graphs below compare five different nations, illustrating the amount of power consumed in a typical hospital (measured in megawatts or mw) over the course of a week, as well as the number of emergency medical calls made by local inhabitants over the same week. The last graph depicts the average time (in minutes) spent by hospital medical professionals examining emergency situations before treating patients.

Write a report summarising the information. Select and describe the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

 

Chart 1 (below): Electricity used (megawatts or mw) in a typical hospital

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Chart 2 (below): Number of emergency medical calls made by local residents

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Essay

The graphs indicate how much power is used, how many local emergency calls are made, and how much time is spent on patients in a collection of typical hospitals.
In terms of power, we can observe that consumption in French and Japanese hospitals is quite consistent over the week, varying between 32 and 18 megawatts, respectively. Electricity consumption in Canada and Russia rises considerably at the end of the week, from 26 to 38 megawatts in Canada and 12 to 24 megawatts in Russia, respectively. In Argentina, however, usage has dropped by nearly half.
The number of emergency calls made, which fluctuates in France (about 90 calls) and Canada, follows a similar trend (around 110.) These calls increase by approximately half in Canada, from around 105 on Monday to over 160 on Sunday, with a similar increase in Russia to 110 by the weekend. Argentina is once again the outlier, with a drop of about half.
In contrast, in all countries except Russia, time spent on patient evaluation is rather steady over the week, rising from 12 minutes on Monday (the mean daily rate for each nation except Japan) to 28 minutes on Sunday.
In conclusion, it appears that increased energy usage corresponds to a rise in emergency calls, but only in Russia does assessment time follow the same pattern.
(220 words)

Examiner’s Comments

For this essay, this applicant would receive a score of 9 out of ten. Although the task is difficult, the applicant arranges the data in a logical manner. She clearly begins the section on electricity, grouping France and Japan together (fluctuating pattern), then Canada and Russia together (increasing trend), and lastly Argentina as an exception (declining.)
The candidate displays a similar tendency in the emergency calls paragraph, with the same four nations clustered together and Argentina being the exception.
She makes it plain in the patient evaluation line that the trend is not continuing (all nations are steady, no grouping) and that Russia is now the exception (rising.)
The charts include a lot of information, but the applicant chooses a few crucial values to show the patterns. The attention to detail is fine, but it has been picked with care. The phrase’respectively’ and the right use of brackets in the third facebook.com/ebook.sos paragraph are among the structures used to show the figures. Without going into too much detail, the applicant utilizes about half/about half to demonstrate that she knows the proportions.
The summary is highly effective since it summarizes the major patterns discussed (the association between power and emergency calls), as well as highlighting Russia’s absence from the assessment time chart.

Model 3

Writing Task

The graph below depicts the number of people arriving at a railway station every hour over the course of a day, as well as the average ticket price (in US dollars).

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Essay

The table shows the number of passengers who arrive at a station every two hours during the day, as well as the average ticket price at certain times.
The number of passengers peaks three times throughout the day. For example, at 6 a.m., the number is 480, which rises to 690 by 8 a.m. before declining again. Then there’s a high of 700 at midday, followed by an afternoon drop to 230 at 4pm. At 6 p.m., a third surge occurs, hitting 670 before fading.
This pattern is somewhat followed by ticket pricing. The high price of $29 is matched by a high passenger influx at 8 a.m., followed by a peak of $31 at lunchtime and a drop to $17 by 4 p.m. However, the peak in passenger numbers at 6 p.m. is accompanied by a price low of $11, followed by a climb to $22 at 8 p.m. and a final leveling out.
In summary, ticket costs rise in lockstep with passenger volume, except at rush hour in the evening, when they actually decline.
(174 words)

Examiner’s Comments

We expect a high level of reporting because this is a very straightforward task. Because of its clarity and presentation of significant patterns, this essay receives a Band 9 rating.
The first statement has been properly paraphrased. In the first major body paragraph, the applicant organizes the data into passenger numbers and explains the pattern (3 peaks). She illustrates the peaks using a series of chosen figures. She then introduces the group of ticket prices and describes the tendency (‘parts follow this pattern’), illustrating with selected data. She begins by saying, “However,” and then goes on to illustrate the exception (the 6 p.m. figure), using specific statistics to describe and demonstrate how it differs.
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The patterns and exceptions are described succinctly in the summary, with no extraneous information.
The candidate employs a wide range of terminology (e.g., ‘peak/spike, tailing off/leveling off, rise/surge, decline/decrease’) and successfully employs the ‘before + -ing’ structure (e.g., ‘increasing to X before dropping to Y’). Overall, the impression is of a well-organized applicant who writes in a clear and concise manner.

Model 4

Writing Task

You should spend about 20 minutes on this Task.

In a variety of nations, the table presents statistics on the average length of time (in minutes) that people of various ages spend in consultations with family doctors.

Write a report summarising the information. Select and describe the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

 

Table 1: Minutes spent with a doctor on average

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Essay

The graph shows the average amount of time patients spend with doctors in various nations, broken down by age group.
The most prevalent pattern, as we can see, is for the time to rise in lockstep with age. In France, for example, the difference between the youngest and oldest persons is more than doubled, from 16 to 38 minutes. Similarly, the United States’ total increases from 13 to 31, the United Kingdom’s from 9 to 21, and Italy’s from 17 to 29. All of them are significant increases. From 32 to 39 minutes, Chile has a constant but considerably gentler rise.
Brazil similarly exhibits an increase, albeit at the age of 60, the time decreases from 26 minutes to 20 minutes. In India, the increase and fall is more pronounced, peaking at 21 minutes for persons aged 40 to 60 and falling to 11 minutes for those aged 70 and more.
There are two exceptions. Japan varies from 12 and 16 minutes depending on the age category. Kenya gradually decreases with age, from 15 minutes for the youngest to 10 minutes for the oldest.
Except in Japan and Kenya, time spent with physicians tends to grow with age.
(195 words)

Examiner’s Comments

This is a high-quality Band 9 essay, with logical data grouping and good explanations of trends and exceptions at facebook.com/ebook.sos.
In the introduction, the applicant does a good job paraphrasing, and then in the main body, she clearly conveys the primary group trend (time increases consistently with age.) She then presents four figures to illustrate this group (France, USA, UK, Italy.) She starts a new paragraph by grouping Brazil and India together, which is reasonable, but she makes sure to point readers that they are slightly different (they rise and fall) by providing appropriate statistical numbers.
The next paragraph demonstrates that she recognizes the exceptions (Japan and Kenya) and uses a ‘range set’ (“between 12 and 16” etc.) to explain why they are different (fluctuation and decline, respectively). The summary statement is brief, but it effectively summarizes the important trends/exceptions and avoids repetition of facts.
The applicant employs terms to qualify the verbs (eg “consistently, steadily, markedly, usually”); similarities are clearly shown (eg similar, likewise); and the candidate strives to illustrate the percentage of the growth in the major group (“For example, the figure in France more than doubles.”)
In Task 1 data essays, it is common to try to explain or give reasons for the circumstance, but this applicant does not make that mistake.

Model 5

Writing Task

ou should spend about 20 minutes on this Task.

The graphs depict (Chart a) the average speed of traffic in urban zones (in kilometres per hour or kph) in a variety of nations during a fifty-year period, as well as a future estimate; and (Chart b) the total number of urban zones per country (in thousands.)

Write a report summarising the information. Select and describe the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

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Essay

The graphs illustrate the average velocity of city traffic over a fifty-year timeline, as well as the number of urban zones by nation, with a prognosis for the future.
We can see that the speed is increasing and then decreasing in general. For example, in France, it rose from 60 kilometers per hour in 1970 to 86 kilometers per hour in 1990, before falling to 52 kilometers per hour in 2020. Similarly, the United States reached a peak of 57 kph in 1990 before falling to 43 kph by the end of the decade. The United Kingdom and Russia have followed a similar pattern, increasing to 56 and 72 kph in 2010 before dropping below the beginning point. Similarly, despite a peak of 73 kph, Canada’s speed drops from 69 to 64 kph.
Chile, on the other hand, swings about 51 kilometers per hour but remains constant throughout time. Italy, Brazil, and Spain, on the other hand, show a definite upward trend, with speeds of 58, 57, and 61 kph, respectively.
With the exception of one, all nations are expected to have a fourfold rise in metropolitan zones by 2020. Russia is the exception, with a drop of roughly half to 3,200.
Overall, the research shows no link between rising urban zones and increased average traffic speeds.
(214 words)

Examiner’s Comments

The Task offers a large amount of data that may be described in a variety of ways. This contender uses a logical approach to grouping, introducing the first data group (“the general pattern is for the speed to climb and then decline”) and providing data to back it up. In light of the vast quantity of data in the Task, the figures are nicely chosen and not overdone.
The candidate explains why Chile is an exception (“remains steady”) and then why Italy, Brazil, and Spain are a different category (“display a definite rise”) in a separate paragraph.
The candidate demonstrates he can see the trend (“increases of around 4 times”) and the exception in the paragraph concerning Urban Zones (Russia.) One of several alternatives for the summary statement (it might alternatively read “the overall tendency is for speeds to diminish and for urban zones to climb.”)
Despite the vast quantity of data, this applicant has utilized paragraphing and signposting to make the essay clear and distinguish the distinct categories. It serves as an excellent example of a Band 9 data essay.

Model 6

Writing Task

You should spend about 20 minutes on this Task.

The graphs show the volume of exports (in millions of tonnes) going through the Rotterdam port in Holland to various worldwide destinations between 2002 and 2012, as well as the tax rates imposed on these exports by the receiving countries.

Write a report summarising the information. Select and describe the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

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Essay

The statistics illustrate the volume of exports passing through Rotterdam during a ten-year period, as well as the level of taxes levied on the commodities at their final destination.
Total exports climbed slightly in tonnage, hitting 18,600 million tonnes in 2012. However, most zones saw a decrease in volume within this total. For example, Europe – the most popular destination – fell from 6,900 million to 6,400 million visitors, while the United States – the second most popular – fell by almost 10% to 3,900 million. China’s population fell slightly to 2,300 million people, while Latin America’s population fell from 1,800 to 1,500 million. The population of the ‘other’ zones remained unchanged at 350 million. Volumes to Asia Pacific and Australasia, on the other hand, more than tripled, reaching 2,550 and 2,300 million tonnes, respectively.
When it comes to taxes, we can observe that it has risen significantly in all of the zones that have seen a drop in volumes, reaching 2% in the United States, China, and Latin America, and growing from 5% to 8% in facebook.com/ebook.sos.
Europe. The ‘other’ zones held their tax rates at 2%, while the growth zones slashed their rates dramatically, from 5% to 2% in Asia Pacific and fourfold to 1% in Australasia.
In conclusion, the decade revealed a clear link between rising export quantities and lower tax rates.
(218 words)

Examiner’s Comments

This essay received a Band 9 for its logical organization, precise figure selection, and good English usage. This is a’movement’ data collection, and the candidate categorizes the data based on the kind of changes that may be seen. She goes over each chart one by one, beginning with the ‘exports’ chart, where she defines the basic trend (“total exports climbed slightly”) and then explains that most zones really fell. She illustrates this with a variety of words (declined, went down, dipped, plummeted), and she compares the significance of the United States and Europe (“the greatest destination – the second highest, etc.”). “Static” is an apt description of the “other” box.
The outliers are introduced with a helpful signpost (“by stark contrast”), while the growth rates of Asia Pacific and Australasia are mentioned (“more than trebled.”) The ‘tax’ chart is introduced with another nice signal (“Turning to…”). The link between growth and taxation is adequately stated, and the summary phrase properly summarizes the important developments.
Overall, this article is written in plain, unambiguous English, with superb signposting and a wide range of words.

Model 7

Writing Task

You should spend about 20 minutes on this Task.

This table displays information on the quantity of television viewed by youngsters in various nations (in hours per day) as well as the average academic achievement of people in these countries ( percent of people completing each level.)

Write a report summarising the information. Select and describe the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.

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Essay

The graph shows data on children’s daily TV viewing habits in various nations, as well as the percentage of children who complete three levels of schooling.
The United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom have the largest number of hours per day spent viewing television, at four. China and Italy are the next highest with three hours per day apiece, followed by Brazil and India with two hours each, and Malta and the UAE with only one hour per day, a fifth of the maximum reported.
When it comes to intellectual success, we can observe that in Italy, Canada, and Malta, all pupils graduated from high school. All of the other countries are in the 90s, with the exception of India, which is at 80%. High school graduation rates range from 100% in Malta to 90% in Italy, Canada, and the United Arab Emirates (UAE) (UK, USA and Brazil.) With 68 percent and 60 percent, respectively, China and India have the lowest amounts. The United Kingdom has the highest rate of university completion at 39 percent, followed by Canada (32 percent) and the United States (28 percent) (29 percent .) Italy, China, and Brazil all have mid-twenty percent growth rates. The lowest percentages are seen in Malta facebook.com/ebook.sos and the United Arab Emirates (18% and 19%, respectively), followed by India (12%).
In conclusion, television viewing habits and educational attainment differ significantly. It’s worth noting, though, that the nations with the most hours of TV per day also have the largest percentage of university graduates.
(252 words)

Examiner’s Comments

This essay received a Band 9 from the applicant. We anticipate the essay to discuss the comparative proportions between the figures because this is a’static’ sort of Task. This essay does this with the use of a variety of vocabulary and patterns.
The candidate starts with the ‘hours per day’ chart, grouping the data logically in decreasing order and discussing how the lowest value compares to the greatest (“a fourth of the maximum recorded.”) The article then moves on to the chart of educational levels, sorting the data by level and discussing the aspects from highest to lowest. This gives the writing a logical and well-organized sense. To avoid presenting too many figures, the candidate utilizes terms like “in the 90s… in the mid 20% range.” Because the reader does not need to view all of the figures to grasp the grouping being described, this method is useful.
The summary statement demonstrates that the applicant has examined and observed the link between television and university education levels.
The candidate uses brackets and the phrase “respectively” to convey the selected statistics, and the English utilized is impartial in tone. The present simple tense is appropriately employed, and signposting phrases (“considering, turning to, in summation”) are effective.

Model 8

Writing Task

You should spend about 20 minutes on this Task.

The first graph illustrates how many airline crew members (pilots, stewards, and so on) are required to operate a passenger plane between Australia and a variety of other nations. The second graph depicts the number of passenger complaints each flight on these routes, as well as the average kilogram (kg) weight of luggage (or baggage) carried per passenger.

Write a report summarising the information. Select and describe the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

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Essay

The graphs provide information on four Australian airline destinations in terms of staff numbers, passenger complaints, and baggage weight per passenger.
The trip to Germany requires the greatest crew (15 personnel), followed by Indonesia (11) and Malaysia (11). (8.) New Zealand is the location with the fewest crew members per plane (with 6 crew.) This tendency can be seen in the weight of luggage per passenger, with Germany having the heaviest at 38 kg and Indonesia having the second-heaviest at 32 kg. Malaysian airlines carry 30 kg per person, whereas New Zealand is the least at 15 kilograms.
Customer complaints, on the other hand, follow a different trend, with New Zealand flights receiving the most (6 each flight), followed by Indonesia and Malaysia with three apiece. There are the fewest complaints on flights to Germany, with only one each journey.
Overall, flights to Germany necessitate the most personnel and luggage, whilst those to New Zealand necessitate the least. Passengers flying to Germany, on the other hand, make the fewest complaints, while those flying to New Zealand make the most. The flights from Malaysia and Indonesia are basically halfway between these two extremes.
(191 words)

Examiner’s Comments

The essay would receive a Band 9 for this candidate’s clear description of the groupings and trends. The essay is properly outlined in logical paragraphs, and the candidate’s beginning statement is a good paraphrase of the Task material. The first paragraph of the main body paragraph describes the data for ‘staff numbers’ in decreasing order, then accurately identifies the pattern between that and the graphic for ‘luggage weight.’ The candidate explicitly identifies the tendency (“This trend is represented…”) and then provides data to support the claim.
The next line discusses the numbers before identifying the group that is an exception to the trend (“However, the pattern for customer complaints is inverted…”). The summary is lengthy, but it successfully summarizes the main body’s trends and groupings, properly indicating that Malaysia and Indonesia are between the other two destinations in all of the data.
Throughout, the applicant appropriately employs the present basic and sophisticated terminology to convey the trend condition (“reflected, reversed.”) The ranking order of the items in the categories is stated plainly (“biggest… followed by… least”), with strong signposting (“although, generally.”) The examiner had a favorable opinion of this essay.

Model 9

Writing Task

You should spend about 20 minutes on this Task.

The typical price of a tablet computer at various retailers (in US dollars) is shown in Chart 1, as well as the percent discount granted by these businesses when the items are on sale. Chart 2 illustrates the percentage increase in volume sales while discount promotions are in effect, and Chart 3 indicates the amount of money spent on TV advertising during these promotions (in thousands of dollars).

Write a report summarising the information. Select and describe the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

 

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Essay

Average pricing, promotional discounts, sales uplifts, and advertising expenditures for seven retailers offering tablet computers are depicted in the graphs.
The average price per item at four of these retailers is around $300. (Slaker, Jones, Scots and Fraser.) At $460 and $565, respectively, two retailers (Lewis and Nova) offer a substantially higher pricing. Smith has the cheapest pricing ($180). The promotional discounts provided follow a similar pattern, with the four mid-priced retailers offering 10% off, the two higher-priced stores offering 20% (Lewis) and 25% (Nova), and Smith offering only a 5% discount.
Lewis and Nova have the greatest rate of promotion-related sales volume increases (at 21% and 23%, respectively), while Slaker, Jones, Scots, and Fraser had roughly a 12% rise each. Smith had the smallest sales gain, at less than 5%.
Slaker, Jones, Scots, and Fraser all have fairly identical TV advertising budgets of $63,000 to 70,000 dollars. Lewis and Nova spend $18,000 and $21,000, respectively, although Smith does not spend any money.
In conclusion, the four mid-price retailers spend the most on advertising and achieve equivalent sales increases with their 10% discounts. Lewis and Nova spend about a third of these amounts, but gain almost double the uplift by giving around double the discount level. Smith is seldom active on specials because of its lower typical price.
(215 words)

Examiner’s Comments

This is a difficult task since it involves a vast quantity of data that must be properly analyzed, organized, and selected. This essay does this by going over each of the charts and identifying the categories. The candidate begins by describing the ‘price and discount’ data, explaining the general pattern (“We find a similar grouping…”), and then moves on to the ‘promotional increase’ graphic. For the ‘TV advertising’ data, the candidate states clearly that there is a group of four stores, but does not go into great detail (“approximately similar…between $63,000 and $70,000” is a decent approach to accomplish this for a large data group.)
The applicant has a wide vocabulary, as seen by his use of roughly/around/approximately, and his sentences contain a great number of selected figures while being understandable. The usage of bracketed shop names and the word respectively is beneficial in this case.
The summary does a good job of explaining the groups’ main characteristics, trends, and outliers. While a three-sentence summary is rare, the amount of data in this Task undoubtedly necessitates it. For a Task 1 essay, the word count (225 words) is the maximum that an examiner would like to read.

Model 10

Writing Task

You should spend about 20 minutes on this Task.

The graphs 1 and 2 below indicate the percentage of money spent by young people in Canada and Poland on various categories. The average age of various life events in these nations, as well as a projected worldwide average age, are shown in Chart 3.

Write a report summarising the information. Select and describe the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

 

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Chart 3: Average age of events in life before age 35

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Essay

The graphs depict the percentage of youth income spent on various categories in Poland and Canada, as well as three significant life events by age, as compared to a global average.
Looking at income first, we can observe that leisure and clothes are the two most expensive categories in Canada, accounting for 20% and 19% of total spending, respectively. The remaining sections (housing, food, transportation, and studies) are all fairly equal, at 14 to 16 percent.
In Poland, however, studies account for nearly half of all spending (43%) and transportation (26%) respectively. Leisure and clothing are tied at 10% and 11%, respectively, and housing and food are tied at 5%.
In terms of life events, we can see that leaving home and purchasing a car occurs at a similar age in Poland as the expected global norm of roughly 26 years, however they happen significantly earlier in Canada, at 20 years or just under. Getting married, on the other hand, takes roughly 30 years in both countries, which is far longer than the global average of just over 20.
In conclusion, young people’s spending in Canada is more evenly distributed than in Poland, where transportation and education account for the vast bulk of their spending. In terms of life events, Poland is closer to the global average than Canada.
(216 words)

Examiner’s Comments

Because the ‘life events’ data can be organized in a variety of ways, this task is more complicated than it appears at first. By picking a logical grouping and explaining it properly, this applicant earns Band 9. The essay begins by describing the differences in the shares of each of the ‘expense’ pie charts. This section of the main body is successful for the reader because of phrases like “basically similar, between…” and “followed by.” Given the limited number of figures in the data, the candidate is correct to select and use all of them.
The ‘life events’ part is well-organized, with comparisons of the two countries’ trends to the worldwide average and descriptions of contrasts and similarities. The summary employs scholarly but nevertheless understandable jargon (“more equally split than… take the vast majority”). The applicant uses terms to qualify proportions (“about similar/ almost half/ much earlier/ much later/ more evenly”) and the signposting is nicely chosen elsewhere (“Looking first at… however/ regarding/ whereas/ by contrast”). As examiners, we look for and reward this sort of writing with higher scores.

Model 11

Writing Task

You should spend about 20 minutes on this Task.

Chart A depicts the pace of oil consumption (in millions of barrels) in a small country from 1950 to 2010. The number of persons engaged in the oil business in that country, as well as the rate of unemployment in that country, are shown in Chart B.

Write a report summarising the information. Select and describe the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

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Essay

Between 1950 and 2010, the graphs depict the evolution of oil consumption, oil sector employment, and national unemployment in a country.
Oil consumption was around 20 million barrels per year until 1970, then it progressively increased to 40 million barrels in 2000 and around 50 million barrels by 2010. When we look at the data on oil industry jobs, we can see that the increase in consumption was matched by a roughly threefold increase in employment. Until 1970, the population hovered around 1,000 people, facebook.com/ebook.sos before steadily increasing, passing 1,800 in 1980 and reaching 3,100 in 2010.
However, when it comes to national unemployment, this statistic has steadily decreased over time, falling from 4% in 1950 to 3.1 percent in 1980, and finally to 1.6 percent in the year in question.
Overall, we can say that the increase in oil consumption in this country was accompanied by a roughly equivalent increase in the number of persons employed in the oil industry. Simultaneously, total unemployment fell by more than half.
(164 words)

Examiner’s Comments

This is a’movement’ data task, and the candidate does a fantastic job articulating the changes and patterns in a variety of ways.
Because they share a pattern, she organizes the data by similar patterns, summarizing chart 1 and then the ‘oil industry employment’ data from chart 2 together. With important figures identified, there is a good choice of terminology to explain the movement (“fluctuated.. climbed gradually.. threefold pattern.. increasing regularly”). However, the paragraph outlining the exception is well-introduced, and the fall is clearly documented with beginning, middle, and end statistics.
The summary makes appropriate use of synonyms for phrases that appear in the main body (“growth… decreased”), and the phrase “corresponding rate” emphasizes the primary trend once more. Without repeating facts, “Dropped by more than half” is an effective method to demonstrate that the candidate understands the statistics. In terms of reporting and English usage, we would assign an essay of this caliber a Band 9 rating.

Model 12

Writing Task

You should spend about 20 minutes on this Task.

The graph below shows the popularity (percentage of persons that participate on a regular basis) of various sports in various countries. The graph depicts how much time individuals in certain countries spend each day reading books, newspapers, or Internet articles. There’s also a table with the average book price.

Write a report summarising the information. Select and describe the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.
 

Chart 1: Popularity of sports